Letter to Tall Tree

Dear Sir, I am speaking to your Higher Self from my Most Honest Self. I have been grappling with some pretty big issues since the communication lines went down completely. I have found the need to take back all of my dearest projections onto you. Every place I have condemned you in my mind, I am finding these same defects of character in me. Even a judgement someone else might have shared of you that satisfied some place in me - that too, I've discovered, I could say of myself (were I not hiding my own ugly little truths from my own or public scrutiny). I am owning it all, gathering it all close, and I will tell you it is all too close for comfort. I have been working a trade with a life coach and she has turned me on to some very helpful resources, including a book called Radical Forgiveness by Colin Tipping. It's really a road map for utilizing consciousness to love and forgive ourselves and others. The process is helping me to be honest with myself and tolerate the truth that I had been attempting to obscure, both to myself and the outside world. I have promised not to abuse myself or betray myself or lie to myself any longer; but to love and honor myself as my Creator, forgiving misdeeds of the past. I found I needed to accomplish this in order to forgive you and release all the energy that I had bound up around this you-ness, in my disappointments in your not meeting my needs. When I start to feel judgement about something I've done, I get to apply compassion. It is a really good, if painful, process, and I am learning alot. I seem to need to not be in relationship daily with another person - at this time - in order to see these things and work with them. I am learning what it means to BE the way I want to be, and a person who I would want to be around. I understand now the truth I spoke to you several years back when I said that I wasn't "relationship material." That may not be forever, but certainly while I am engaged with this work, completing karma, waking up, and becoming conscious to the truth I know in my Highest Self but have not been living in an integrated way. In a faithful way. Not fully, anyway. I am seeking entrance to the gates of inner knowledge. I cross the threshold daily, and spend more time there with each passing day. My body and my experiences in the world inform me through reflection and metaphor and all sorts of signs about how I am progressing, point me to parts of the curriculum I had missed or assignments I've attempted to short cut. And I am reviewing my lessons. This letter to you is an assignment I've given myself. To become clear about my choices and make relations with full and total accountability for how my life goes. There are so many ways Life provides for us to hide out in illusion and delusion - Maya! And as many ways we are provided maps and trail guides out of the labyrinth and into the Light of Truth - Satya! It is ALL here for us and all we need do is reach out and grab what we will. What we have the courage for. Truly, it is all in perfection. I see such perfection in our union of these past few years, and am filled with gratitude in a whole new way, coming to see how our Higher Selves, or Souls, made agreement to help one another. Soul Agreements aren't linear, necessarily pretty, or as neatly defined as the agreements and contracts we make on the Human/Earth plane. (Although I think we are learning about the relative ambiguity of all levels of human "agreement" where there is unintegrated consciousness!) The work of Human Incarnation seems to be integrating consciousness of our Divine aspect. This Evolving Consciousness is the Great Work of this epoch, this time we have taken birth and met as "you" and "me." I am getting a sense for how this plays out. In this model, I see that you are highly tuned to the etheric realms. It is this quality that I always resonated to and was magnetized toward. Though the rules of engagement are different on the playing field here on Earth, in the etheric you are a High Being and the Priestess in me recognizes the Priest in you. On Earth, you are like our Brother Coyote, trying to hide from your own true nature, tricking yourself along with the rest of us, as we fumble and stumble along our merry way. Complex and paradoxical! I am grateful that Life introduced us in this incarnation, entwined our hearts, and banged our heads together for a while. I am experiencing immense growth since we parted ways. Your Coyote Trickster Spirit travels around, informing me how to bring what is mine to work with into a more harmonious pattern of vibrating atoms. In the kingdom from where we come, I Love You as I love My Self. We have more in common than I ever knew or could tolerate in close proximity. To the fire! I wish us both great awakening!